


Memories

by MikazukiMunechika305



Series: After The End [1]
Category: Saiyuki Gaiden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5867635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikazukiMunechika305/pseuds/MikazukiMunechika305
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanzeon Bosatsu decides to erase Goku's memories after Konzen's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters or Saiyuki in general!
> 
> And a little note about the way I wrote this: The parts in italic style are from Goku's memories, while everything else is what Kanzeon Bosatsu does "right now."

She slowly steps closer to the body lying in front of the heavy gate.  
“Son Goku,” Kanzeon Bosatsu mumbles thoughtfully while her heart clenches a little.  
Just a little.  
He is surrounded by some golden dust, and she realizes that there’s no sign of her nephew being there. Considering how Goku lies there, motionless even when she steps closer, and the fact that his cheeks are still wet from tears, she knows what has happened to Konzen. Her heart clenches again.  
Just a little.  
Kanzeon Bosatsu takes a few more steps closer to Goku and bends down to him.  
He has lost consciousness, and as far as she can assess the situation, it’s better for him not to know what she is going to do.  
“Son Goku, what kind of memories do you have?” she whispers quietly. “Happy ones? Or are there more sad memories?”  
With these words, she gently touches his forehead.

 _“Come down here, Goku.”_  
_“But I don’t want to!”_  
_“Goku, I told you to come down here.”_  
_Reluctantly, he does what he’s been told and climbs down the tree._  
_“Don’t you lay a finger on Goku again. He’s my secret son.”_  
_He blushes slightly but is wise enough not to say anything._  
_“We’re sorry, Kenren Taishou! We’ll never complain about him again!”_  
_Kenren smiles,_ and Kanzeon Bosatsu smiles as well.

 _“You wanna climb that tree, Goku?”_  
_“Yeah!” He runs forward enthusiastically, starting to climb up the tree while Kenren follows him a little more slowly._  
 _“I thought you didn’t like high places, Kenren!” Tenpou calls up to them from the ground, a gentle but slightly teasing smile on his lips._  
 _“Trees are fine, I still feel like I’m connected with the ground,” Kenren replies_ and Kanzeon Bosatsu nods, because she knows it’s the truth.  
_“The cherry blossoms sure are beautiful, right, Konzen?” Tenpou continues, still smiling, and lifts up his cup of sake to take a sip._  
_Konzen snorts. “You’ve been on Earth before, right?—It’s not like I’m asking because I’m interested.”_  
 _“Of course you’re not interested. I know that. Yes, we’ve been on Earth before.”_  
 _“Are the cherry blossoms there… any different from ours?”_  
Kanzeon Bosatsu chuckles, because this is exactly what her nephew has ever wanted to know.  
_Kenren laughs. “They’re more beautiful.”_  
_“Really?” Goku asks curiously._  
 _“I think it depends on your point of view,” Tenpou adds, “but I have to admit that I agree with Kenren.”_  
 _“…It’s because they bloom shorter. They don’t bloom eternally.” Kenren sighs. “Humans live shorter than we do, and so do the cherry blossoms in their world.”_  
 _“Now I kinda want to see Earth’s cherry blossoms…” Konzen says quietly—very quietly, but Goku hears him nevertheless._  
 _He lets out a surprised “whoa!” and suddenly, he’s falling…_  
 _…right on top of Konzen, who is sitting beneath the branch he has been sitting on._  
Now Kanzeon Bosatsu can’t hold back a delighted laugh. They can’t hear her, after all; she’s just a spectator who can’t change the memory.  
_“Can’t you watch out where you’re falling?!” Konzen calls out with an angry voice,_ although Kanzeon Bosatsu is sure that she isn’t the only one who knows that he’s not as angry as he claims to be.  
_“Ah, Konzen, I think it’s more your fault for sitting where you are!” Kenren laughs at him._  
_“It’s his fault for falling! Why did you fall anyways, you stupid monkey?!”_  
_“I’m sorry! What you said just surprised me!”_

 _“Hurry, Goku! Faster!”_  
Kanzeon Bosatsu looks around herself staggered; this memory definitely doesn’t seem to be as cheerful as the previous two. It’s probably the freshest one because it has the strongest colors and the strongest feeling of… sadness.  
_“I’m here, Konzen! Come on!”_  
_Konzen is a few steps ahead of him, so he reaches the closing gate first. He stops right in front of it, giving Goku a sign to pass it first._  
 _Goku runs, and he passes the gate which just leaves enough of a gap for him to slip through._  
 _He then freezes and turns around slowly when he notices that the gate isn’t closing any further. “Konzen…?”_  
 _His whole body suddenly shakes in shock_ and even Kanzeon Bosatsu as a powerless spectator feels the shock and sadness as well as if they were her own feelings.  
_“No, Konzen! Hurry, get out of it!”_  
_“It’s too late… Goku…”_  
 _“You can still get out of it if you try!” Goku protests, not willing to accept this fate. He puts his hands between the leaves and tries to press them farther away from each other while Konzen coughs up blood._  
 _Then, Konzen reaches up and takes his hands. “Goku… I’m sorry.”_  
 _“No, Konzen. It’s not too late.” Goku’s voice shakes._  
 _“It is… Goku, you have to… live your life… to the fullest…”_  
 _“Not without you… and Ten-chan… and Ken-nii… I can’t if you’re not there!”_  
 _“But you… have to… I promise, Goku… we’ll be there.” He weakly holds up his pinky_ and Kanzeon Bosatsu closes her eyes only for a second because it hurts a little to watch this scene. When she looks to them again, she sees _the two of them having their pinkies intertwined, Goku’s eyes are still full of tears and sadness while Konzen’s only show sadness and pain._  
Or is that a tear in the corner of his eye? She’s not completely sure.  
_And then, the gate closes completely._  
_It crushes Konzen’s fragile body between its leaves, it crushes him to golden dust which is blown away by the wind._  
_His eyes wide in shock, Goku tries to catch and gather as much of the dust as he can, crying out loudly and desperately, “ **Konzen!!!** ” before collapsing on top of his little pile of golden dust._  
_Everything turns black and Kanzeon Bosatsu gets kicked out of his memory since this is the last thing he remembers._

Her hand unconsciously wipes across her face and she finds her fingers a little wet. “I’m not really… crying, am I?”  
But then, she grasps Goku’s small shoulders and pulls his unconscious body into a tight embrace. “I’ve made you suffer so much. So in place of Konzen… and Kenren, and Tenpou…” She swallows hard to stifle the hot tears she feels burning in her eyes. “Let me be the one to say, ‘I’m so happy to have met you.’”  
For this one time, she allows herself to show a weakness for a few seconds. Nobody can see her after all; Goku doesn’t count since he’s unconscious. Even she can’t always be the great, untouchable Merciful Goddess; her nephew has just died, as well as one of the greatest Generals and one of the greatest Marshals Heaven has ever seen, and in addition, Konzen has been her only real family.  
After a few minutes, she lets Goku down to the ground again, touching his forehead once more.  
“Goku… I’m sorry. But I can’t have you remember everything when you wake up… that’d be too much trouble, not only for me but also for you. It’d make you fall into despair if you talked about it to anyone. I need you to forget, Goku… So for now, just sleep. Embracing in your heart that seed of hope. And trust… that there will come a day when it will bloom again.”  
A single tear falls from Kanzeon Bosatsu’s eye and drops onto Goku’s cheek, and she wipes it away, stifling a silent sob. “Come, now.”  
She lifts him up completely, carrying him a few steps away from the place where he has been lying, before using her powers to teleport him and herself to a cave on top of Mount Gogyou.  
“Believe, Goku. Don’t lose your hope, okay?” she whispers to his ear before letting him down inside of the cave and sealing it.

Later, she decides to visit Tenpou Gensui’s office in order to clean it up and save his belongings before someone orders to get rid of them. She feels like she owes the four of them something, she feels as if she was at fault for Goku’s and their sufferings.  
Maybe she is.  
Because she is the one who ordered Konzen to watch over Goku in the first place.  
Kanzeon Bosatsu doesn’t find many things she considers worth keeping.  
She takes Tenpou’s substitute glasses, his frog-shaped ashtray and a book about demons, gods and monsters and their powers which seems to have an interesting summary. Maybe she’ll read it later. Maybe she’ll find out something about the Seiten Taisei’s powers.  
In the moment when she turns back to the door to leave the room—just as she has thought, most of the things in this room are from Kenren or Tenpou since Konzen and Goku have shared a room in the same building she lives in—she sees a white piece of paper shine from under a demolished bookshelf.  
The Merciful Goddess kneels down and carefully pulls it out, trying not to shred the paper.  
She finds herself looking at the kid’s drawing in amazement. It can’t be drawn by anyone but Goku since there are four persons on the picture; a young man with long, almost black hair—Tenpou—, a man with short black hair—Kenren—and a man with long, golden hair—Konzen—as well as a smaller person with long black hair—Goku himself.  
Kanzeon Bosatsu smiles sadly and puts the drawing into the book in order to keep it safe on her way back to her office.  
As soon as she has arrived there, she takes it out and puts it into a frame to hang it up on her wall.


End file.
